He Knows Me

Hearing Mass last Sunday, I was thinking about a few concerns that were on my mind lately. Realizing that I was so distracted from the Celebration, I said a short prayer to God asking him to help me keep focused on his Word.

Shortly thereafter, I found myself distracted once again - and again I asked the Lord to help me be at peace, as the thought of my concerns kept me from the essence of the Celebration.

Finally, after catching myself a third time, I apologized in prayer. I have been searching for the Lord for years, but I have never felt as far from him as I did in recent months. I said "Lord, if you were just any other ordinary person, I am quite sure that you would have forgotten about me by now: I am not as active in the service as I used to be nor as I wish I could be; I do not have a Community I could serve with like I used to; even my own prayer time has lost the quality I believe it had once before. Surely, I do not merit your attention, for there are many others who do. All I ask, is that you help me find you again. I pray that I may know you once more, so that you may know me again."

Shortly thereafter, my family and I stood up to receive communion. I have to admit that at this point, my mind was blank of any thought. Looking back now, I would even say that I was just going through the motions of lining up for communion. We lined up with a Special Minister of the Eucharist who was far from familar to me. We were, after all, hearing Mass at a different church and parish, and therefore the servers there were not familiar to me.

When I got to the Minister, he presented the Host to me and said with conviction: "THIS is the Body of Christ". I was surprised and moved at such conviction, that I answered a loud "AMEN". He placed the Body of Christ on my tongue, and just as I was about to step away, he leaned forward, looked me in the eye and said: "Brother TJ".

All I could do was stare back at him. And as he smiled, I found myself smiling back.

He knew me.

I swear, I still cannot recall where I met him or when I met him. He was obviously from my former Community, but I swear (as if I could or should), I cannot, for the life of me, remember him at all.

But he KNEW me.

And that was all I needed to know.

The Lord heard my prayer of despair. He knew I needed affirmation and confirmation. In the two words spoken by the Minister and the smile he gave me right after, God was saying: "I DO know you. You were never out of my mind. I know you, I hear you, I see you. I know your fears, your concerns, your worries. I love you, and I will see you through. Be at peace, for I KNOW YOU."

If that Minister ever gets to read this, Brother, do drop me a note. I want to say thank you for being God’s voice of affirmation to me when I needed it the most. May God Bless You!