He Knows Me

Hearing Mass last Sunday, I was thinking about a few concerns that were on my mind lately. Realizing that I was so distracted from the Celebration, I said a short prayer to God asking him to help me keep focused on his Word.

Shortly thereafter, I found myself distracted once again - and again I asked the Lord to help me be at peace, as the thought of my concerns kept me from the essence of the Celebration.

Finally, after catching myself a third time, I apologized in prayer. I have been searching for the Lord for years, but I have never felt as far from him as I did in recent months. I said "Lord, if you were just any other ordinary person, I am quite sure that you would have forgotten about me by now: I am not as active in the service as I used to be nor as I wish I could be; I do not have a Community I could serve with like I used to; even my own prayer time has lost the quality I believe it had once before. Surely, I do not merit your attention, for there are many others who do. All I ask, is that you help me find you again. I pray that I may know you once more, so that you may know me again."

Shortly thereafter, my family and I stood up to receive communion. I have to admit that at this point, my mind was blank of any thought. Looking back now, I would even say that I was just going through the motions of lining up for communion. We lined up with a Special Minister of the Eucharist who was far from familar to me. We were, after all, hearing Mass at a different church and parish, and therefore the servers there were not familiar to me.

When I got to the Minister, he presented the Host to me and said with conviction: "THIS is the Body of Christ". I was surprised and moved at such conviction, that I answered a loud "AMEN". He placed the Body of Christ on my tongue, and just as I was about to step away, he leaned forward, looked me in the eye and said: "Brother TJ".

All I could do was stare back at him. And as he smiled, I found myself smiling back.

He knew me.

I swear, I still cannot recall where I met him or when I met him. He was obviously from my former Community, but I swear (as if I could or should), I cannot, for the life of me, remember him at all.

But he KNEW me.

And that was all I needed to know.

The Lord heard my prayer of despair. He knew I needed affirmation and confirmation. In the two words spoken by the Minister and the smile he gave me right after, God was saying: "I DO know you. You were never out of my mind. I know you, I hear you, I see you. I know your fears, your concerns, your worries. I love you, and I will see you through. Be at peace, for I KNOW YOU."

If that Minister ever gets to read this, Brother, do drop me a note. I want to say thank you for being God’s voice of affirmation to me when I needed it the most. May God Bless You!

Peel it Off

Today, I just became my daughter's official nail artist.

Julia had received a couple of bottles of Barbie's kiddie nail polish: one in pink and the other in blue.

And for some reason, Julia wanted me to paint her toenails in alternating colors. So as she wiggled her toes in preparation for my artistic touch, I shook both bottles to make sure that the consistency of the polish was just right. After all, I didn't want my first customer to complain, unless I wanted that to be both the start AND end of my new career.

The instructions were simple: "1) Shake bottle; 2) Apply evenly on nails; 3) Peel off to remove. No need for acetone or nail polish removers."

"Peel off to remove". That simple.

If only more Christians would realize that turning back to God is as simple as "peeling off the past", what a more beautiful world this would be.

I believe in many things, one of them being that life is a result of decisions we make. If you boil it down to basics, we decide what happens to us in life.

We decide to move on, or sulk about a problem.

We decide to change things for the better, or accept the situation we create for ourselves.

We either find solutions, or live in the problem forever.

We decide our life.

God gave us that power. It is called "free will".

And he also gave us a simple solution for turning back to him: "Peel it off."